Bush stubs toe; blames Clinton

Bush before toe attack

President Bush is resting comfortably after stubbing his toe earlier today.

"Ow," said the president. "Ow-ow-ow-ow, OW!"

The toe-stubber was a doorstep installed during the Reagan years.

"This is a failure ... ow! ... of the Clinton administration," said the president, clutching his foot with one hand and cupping his ear with the other.

The Clinton administration had put up a "Watch your step" sign and drawn up plans for removing the doorstep. Those plans were mislaid during a Bush vacation.

"Clearly," said respected moderate John McCain (R-Ariz.), "This too was ... Bill Clinton's fault."

Democrats have argued that Bush should hold bilateral negotations with a building contractor. But Bush has stood firm, up until this morning's falling to the floor and screaming for a bandaid.

Bush himself has only been in office six years, so no blame can be laid on his doorstep.