Embryos evacuated safely from Lebanon

A happy embryo at the beach
(White House image)

Thousands of embryos were enjoying the beaches of southern Cyprus today after being safely evacuated from Lebanon at the direction of U.S. President George Bush.

Hundreds of post-fetal Americans were happy to delay their own evacuations until the multicellular blastocysts were safe.

"We had to act," said presidential spokesperson Tony Snow. "Ignoring their plight would have been negligent embryicide."

Democrats attempted to paint a darker picture of the White House-sponsored beach outing.

"I don't care how much suntan lotion they applied," insisted Democratic Party chairperson Howard Dean. "Those embryos are toast."

The embryos will be flown to the United States next week. President Bush has urged Congress to pass the Embryonic Voting Rights Act before they arrive.

"The rights of embryos must be protected," said the president. "That will only be guaranteed when they can represent themselves at an electronic ballot box with no paper trail."