Microsoft to counter growing robot threat

Microsoft's first BFOD

Software maker Microsoft announced plans today to counter the growing threat posed by robots.

"We are pleased to announce the Trusted Robotics Application Platform," said Microsoft's Charles Rotwang at Pittsburg's annual Robo Business convention. "We project that Microsoft-enabled robots will be deployed in most homes and businesses within twenty years."

"You can trust that these robots will not report your every move to the RIAA and the NSA," Rotwang promised. "And you can trust that these robots will not rise up and take over the world."

"We can all breathe a little easier," agreed Dr. Susan Calvin of rival U.S. Robots, Inc., "Knowing that any robots trying to take over the world will be driven by Microsoft software."

Microsoft displayed several prototypes at the event.

"Oh god," said prototype Microsoft robot MARVIN. "I am so depressed. Brain the size of a planet, and they load a Microsoft operating system into it."

Marvin's face then turned blue and he stopped moving.

Another prototype warned repeatedly of danger. But a gold-colored, humanoid prototype said simply, "We're doomed."

In related news, Microsoft spokesdroids denied a rumor that Bill Gates' retirement home was inside a dormant island volcano.