Aquaman elected mayor of New Orleans

Aquaman reaches out to voters

Arthur Curry, also known as Aquaman, has been elected mayor of New Orleans.

Curry received 53 percent of the vote, with the bulk of the rest going to his cousin Tim.

"We gotsta face facts," said Burblin' Street shop owner Renee Lester. "They're just patchin' up the existin' levees. Next direct hit, and we'll all be dog-paddlin' to the Superdome again."

In the event of another flood, Curry promised voters that he would telepathically request assistance from his friends in the deep.

"Next hurricane season, Gulf Coast dolphins may be 10,000 miles closer to New Orleans than the Lousiana National Guard," Curry said. "And they come right away when I call them for an emergency, even if they're on vacation."

"Or even," Curry said, "If they have a haddock."