FAUX NEWS

 

Media unfair to Darth Vader

Lord Vader has had a difficult week

A full week after Lord Vader's accidental strangling of Admiral Romodi Motti, the media shows no signs of letting go.

"The hate-Vader crowd loves this story," complained Faux-News political analyst Boba Fett. "But it doesn't affect anyone's life at all. It's not like it reveals any deep insights into Lord Vader's character."

Fett speculated that the press went overboard on the story from frustration and resentment.

"The Imperial Center press are upset because Lord Vader didn't contact them right away," Fett said. "Oh, boo-hoo."

"But we know that Lord Vader wanted the galaxy's people, droids and semi-intelligent oozes to know about this story. Otherwise, he wouldn't have asked Lieutenant Rhett Shurd, may he rest in peace, to leak the story to the weekly Death Star newsletter."

Faux-News commentator Jabba the Hutt had his own criticisms.

"It was irresponsible," Jabba said. "For anyone in the press to suggest that Lord Vader was operating under the influence of the dark side of the Force."

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