Bush orders surveillance of black funerals

Col. White will offer funeral guidelines to black churches

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The White House criticized the leak today of the president's secret program of spying on black funerals, started just last Tuesday.

"Our enemies can use this information against us," complained President Bush today at a press conference.

Bush also defended the program itself.

"Congress authorized me to use all necessary force in the war on terror," Bush said. "Well, I don't know about terror ... but sittin' in that church this week, I was ... pretty skeered."

Earlier this week, Bush attended the funeral of progressive activist Coretta Scott King, where he was exposed to voices he does not usually hear.

Since then, many white political analysts have offered helpful criticisms of the funeral to the King family.

"It was inappropriate," opined Bill O'Reilly, a long-time friend of the black community. "The funeral of a progressive activist is no place for progressive activism."

"I'm certain," O'Reilly said, "That Mrs. King disapproved of political rallies in general. So she certainly didn't want any hint of one at her funeral."

Some white wingers have gone further.

"It was positively unsuhthern," said Col. Beauregard T. White, director of the new group "Plantation Owners for Truth."