Hilton and Peterson during detention
It's been over 24 hours since Paris Hilton was last seen in the viewfinder of a camera.
The last video footage of Hilton was at her wedding to Scott Peterson aboard the cruise ship Brilliance of the Seas.
It's a yellow journalist's wet dream come true.
Hilton and Peterson met at the Guantanamo detention facility. Hilton had been detained after using the phrase "New York will be hot!" in a phone conversation. Peterson had googled "Arab dominants" from a San Quentin computer.
The NSA detected both during surveillance of the 49 million potential terrorists in our nation.
The two were released after a few years of reasonably coercive interrogation revealed no threat. Hilton invited Peterson to star in the reality show The Simple Life 4: Jaded publicity slut.
In the first episode, the two dressed for Mardi Gras while flying over where New Orleans used to be.
Then they went to Disneyland.
"We rode the new Godzilla ride," Hilton said during the show, "The one the Japanese put in after repossessing Florida. It was hot."
Peterson popped the question after seeing Hilton's 2006 multi-million dollar tax cuts. Hilton accepted after conferring with her publicist.
"Paris wanted to get married in Israel," Peterson said. "But travel was restricted during nuclear testing by the United States of Islam."
"We were worried, you know, one bad cartoon, and boom!"
Stay tuned to Faux News for further coverage of this story. We expect to milk this puppy for the next year.
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