Plantation owners offended by Clinton's "plantation" remark

Col. White is offended

Sen. Hillary Clinton continues to draw criticism for her remarks last week that Republicans have run the House "like a plantation."

"Suh, ah am ah-fended by Hillary's racist reh-marks," said plantation owner Col. Beauregard T. White to reporters yesterday.

"On be-haf of all the poor colored folk," White said, "Ah de-maaand satisfaction."

His wife Lily agreed.

"Hillary's reh-marks were reh-diculous," said Mrs. White. "It is fortunate that rich white men like mah husband are lookin' out for the needs of the Negroes."

Col. White dismissed the defense of Clinton's remarks by prominent black speakers.

"Ah ask you, who is better suited to detect racism, than I?" Col. White said.

Col. White joins a growing list of white men who have graciously agreed to determine for the black community that Clinton's remarks were racist. The list includes Rep. Dennis Hastert [R-IL], Rep. Peter King [R-NY], and various barking heads on TV and radio.

During the news conference, Col. White took offense when a reporter used his wife's first name.

"Suh, a gentleman does not use a lady's first name unless they are friends, or she is a child, or he wishes to insult her."

"Hillary" could not be reached for comment.