Thousands flee FEMA

Thousands of Texans remain homeless today after fleeing the approach of federal disaster agency FEMA.

Citizens walk their cars
to Dallas

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"We all saw what FEMA did to New Orleans," said Houston resident Nick Tucker. "We're gettin' out before they get here. Should have a few days yet."

"Texans can handle hurricanes," Tucker said. "But nature don't hold a candle to the destructive power of inept administration."

Even President Bush left the area.

"On the way to the ranch for this week's vacation," said helicopter pilot Chuck Robinson, "We flew over I-45, and the president asked whether there was a big game in Dallas."

"When I said FEMA was coming, he turned pale," Robinson said. "He decided to vacation in Colorado instead."

White House press secretary Scott McClellan assured reporters that the president would return to Texas for photo ops "once the danger from FEMA has passed."

FEMA officials on the ground in Houston say they are making progress in finding state and local officials to take the blame for the most recent disaster management disaster.

Meanwhile, the terror alert level has been lowered to double-minus mauve, because terrorists the world over are too busy laughing their heads off.