Gonzo the Great leads the list of potential Supreme Court nominees, according to administration sources.
President Bush and Gonzo became friends during the Bush v. Gore trial in 2000, after Gonzo expressed his strong support for chickens in government.
Democrats have threatened to filibuster. Republicans have threatened to be outraged.
"Judge Gonzo deserves an up-or-down vote," insisted Sen. Bill Frist (R-Tenn.). "Up-or-down vote. Up-or-down vote."
"But what do the American people deserve?" asked Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nev.). "Faced with the lifetime appointment of an unqualified wacko, we think the American people deserve a short, tepid opposition before we inevitably give in."
Some conservative groups have also objected to the potential Gonzo nomination.
"Judge Gonzo is not sufficiently wacko," complained Cathy Adams of the Texas Eagle Forum. "We demand that the patsy ... I mean, the President ... nominate a really extreme right-wing wacko. Someone who will interpret the Constitution strictly as we see fit."
"Uh," responded Reid, "Maybe Gonzo isn't so bad after all."
to the Supreme Court
Conservative groups may get their wish, however. With Chief Justice Renquist expected to retire soon, the president may balance a wacko nominee with an extremely wacko nominee.
Another potential nominee is Tomas de Torquemada, who would be the first Hispanic on the court. Torquemada has been criticized by left-wing pansies for his support of the Bush administration's prudent use of secret detentions and torture.
Others on the list of potential nominees include William Jennings Bryan, Anthony Comstock, and Dr. Jed Zaius.
For his first appointment to the court, it's not yet clear whether Bush will pick a moderate conservative like Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, or satisfy his supporters with a right-wing wacko like 1987 nominee Robert Bork.
But one TV personality thinks he knows.
The Swedish Chef predicts "Bork, Bork, Bork!"
|2016/05/04||Thing found under rock now presumptive GOP nominee|
|2016/05/03||Wicked Witch blocks vote on Judge Garland due to typo||2011/03/07||Governor Walker visits Farmer Brown|
|2006/10/31||Scary characters promised for Nov. 7 Halloween celebration|
|2006/10/13||Bush stubs toe; blames Clinton|
|2006/09/25||John McCain eats a bug|
|2006/09/18||Fighting fascism requires dictatorial powers, fervent nationalism|
|2006/09/10||Mickey Mouse resigns from Disney|
|2006/08/28||Pluto leaving Solar System entirely|
|2006/08/15||Liquids banned; snakes welcomed|
|2006/07/25||Embryos evacuated safely from Lebanon|
|2006/06/26||Microsoft to counter growing robot threat|
|2006/06/17||Alderaan survivors are enjoying homeworld's death, says author|
|2006/05/30||Mexican banditos may get amnesty for service in NSA|
|2006/04/24||Aquaman elected mayor of New Orleans|
|2006/04/17||Kunta Kinte advises caution on 'guest worker' program|
|2006/03/27||White House toilet clogged by U.S. Constitution|
|2006/03/13||White House defends spying on Frankenfurter mansion|
|2006/03/07||Yet another pig lipsticked|
|2006/02/28||ABC to air Lost retrospective retrospective|
|2006/02/20||Media unfair to Darth Vader|
|2006/02/10||Bush orders surveillance of black funerals|
|2006/02/06||Paris Hilton missing after cruise ship wedding to Scott Peterson|
|2006/01/30||Oprah summons the full power of the storm|
|2006/01/23||Plantation owners offended by Clinton's "plantation" remark|
|2006/01/16||G.O.P. sued for breach of Contract with America|
|2006/01/11||Nosferatu promises to keep an open mind|
|2006/01/09||God sues Pat Robertson for slander|
|2006/01/02||Bush expresses, hires Lowered Expectations|