Intelligent Astronomy entering schools

Students should be exposed to alternatives to revolution, say backers of intelligent astronomy.

Dr. Jed Zaius

The controversial solar revolution theory states that the Earth revolves around the Sun.

"It's just a theory," said Kansas minister Terry Fox. "Most people in Kansas don't believe the Earth revolves around the Sun. 'Course, they also believe Bat Boy is dating The Space Alien."

"Anyway," Fox said, "Intelligent astronomy provides scientific evidence that the Earth is the center of the universe, as the Bible says."

Solar revolution theory began with Copernicus' book De Revolutionibus. Church scientists attempted to reason with early adherents like Galileo Galilei and Giordano Bruno, to no avail. Later, activist judges forced it onto schoolchildren.

But now, teachers in Ohio, Minnesota and New Mexico have been given the freedom to challenge solar revolution theory in the classroom. Other states are considering pasting stickers onto textbooks that say revolution remains unproven.

The stickers were inspired by President Bush, who declared that the jury is still out on theory of revolution.

In contrast to the gaps in the theory of revolution, intelligent astronomy provides a complete model of the universe, said Dr. Jed Zaius, chief scientist at Virginia's prestigious Liberty University.

"The Earth is at the center of the universe," Dr. Zaius said. "God put it there. End of story."

Liberty University scientists are also working on alternatives to the theory of gravitation, the irrational value of pi, and the scientific method.