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Congress will pass the ignorance reform bill this week, predicted Senator Susan Collins, (R-Maine).
"In 2001," Collins said, "The Bush administration ignored intelligence warning of an impending terrorist attack. In 2003, the Bush administration distorted intelligence on Iraq to justify war. It's clear Congress must act."
"Obviously, our intelligence agencies must be reorganized."
"Businesses reorganize all the time," Collins continued. "We expect this reorganization to be every bit as effective as those in business."
Senator Joseph Lieberman (D-Obsequious) agreed.
"Our commander-in-chief says he needs this bill to protect the American people," Lieberman whined, "from his intelligence failures. We Democrats demand full compliance with the President's fugue-driven decisions."
"When our President asks for distorted intelligence, he should get distorted intelligence," Lieberman insisted.
When passed, the bill will create a new agency to oversee the CIA and other spy agencies. The new agency will protect the President from encountering information that might overwhelm or confuse him. Suggested names include "More-Central Intelligence Agency", "National Stupidity Agency," and "KGB."
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