Bush seeks security reform
The Bush administration has announced plans to
reform security.
For decades security has meant safety for ourselves,
our families and our nation. Safety from attack. Safety
from tyranny. Financial security for ourselves in old age.
A safety net to catch us when we're sick.
That must change, say officials from the Bush administration.
"We can no longer afford security," National Security Advisor Condoleeza
Rice told reporters. "Our security system will be broken by the time this
president leaves office."
In response, the Bush administration has crafted a plan to reform
security. Rice told reporters that, under the newly defined security,
Americans should feel secure in the knowledge that:
- Their retirement funds are subject to the uncertainties
of the market and the unpredictable future of self-serving
private companies.
- Their president will mortgage the nation deep into debt to give
huge tax breaks to the wealthy and little quick fixes to
prospective voters.
- Osama bin Laden will continue to run free while our military
is commanded to make Iraq safe for oil companies.
- Whenever the nation is under threat of imminent attack,
the President will go on another month-long vacation.
- Their air and water will remain as pure as is convenient
for toxin-dumping private companies.
- Medicaid will fully fund the profits of drug companies.
- The welfare of our nation's soldiers will not stand in the
way of our the Administration's arm-chair adventures.
- The nation's courts will be freed from liberal jurists
who believe in liberty, justice and democracy.
- Sick and wounded Americans will not slow the profits of
insurance companies and for-profit hospitals.
- They and their families are subject to secret, long-term
imprisonment without trial, and a lucky few will have the pleasure
of being tortured by private contractors.
Rice encourages Americans to support the President in his goal of
making America more secure by redefining security.
The President has nominated Rice to be Secretary of State, replacing
outgoing secretary Colin Powell.
