Faux-News http://www.faux-news.com/ America's most rusted news farce en-us Scary characters promised for Nov. 7 Halloween celebration http://www.faux-news.com/stories/2006/10/31/ Undead Republicans will roam the nation's capitol. But then, that happens every day. Bush stubs toe; blames Clinton http://www.faux-news.com/stories/2006/10/13/ "Ow," said the president. "Ow-ow-ow-ow, OW!" John McCain eats a bug http://www.faux-news.com/stories/2006/09/25/ "Eating a bug was easy," McCain said, "Compared to some of the other challenges." Fighting fascism requires dictatorial powers, fervent nationalism http://www.faux-news.com/stories/2006/09/18/ "We cannot defend democracy," said the president, "Without unquestioning congressional approval of torture, domestic spying, detention camps, military trials, and 'Get out of Jail Free' cards for me and Dick." Mickey Mouse resigns from Disney http://www.faux-news.com/stories/2006/09/10/ "Minnie and I don't know where we're going to go," Mickey said. "But, heck no! We won't help them lie to America. C'mon, Pluto!" Pluto leaving Solar System entirely http://www.faux-news.com/stories/2006/08/28/ An acceleration detected in Pluto's orbital velocity since Aug. 24 will, if maintained, take the dwarf planet and its moons out of the solar system within a decade. Liquids banned; snakes welcomed http://www.faux-news.com/stories/2006/08/15/ In the past week, airlines have banned liquids, chapstick, deoderant, clothing, and external genitalia. But snakes aren't on the list. Embryos evacuated safely from Lebanon http://www.faux-news.com/stories/2006/07/25/ Thousands of embryos were enjoying the beaches of southern Cyprus today after being safely evacuated from Lebanon at the direction of U.S. President George Bush. Microsoft to counter growing robot threat http://www.faux-news.com/stories/2006/06/26/ "We can all breathe a little easier," said Dr. Susan Calvin of rival U.S. Robots, Inc., "Knowing that any robots trying to take over the world will be driven by Microsoft software." Alderaan survivors are enjoying homeworld's death, says author http://www.faux-news.com/stories/2006/06/17/ "I've never seen people enjoying their homeworld's death so much," wrote S. Ann Coulter, referring to survivors of the former planet Alderaan, in her just-published book "Godless: The Church of the Rebellion." Mexican banditos may get amnesty for service in NSA http://www.faux-news.com/stories/2006/05/30/ "America owes a debt to these brave villains," said an anonymous source shortly before disappearing. Aquaman elected mayor of New Orleans http://www.faux-news.com/stories/2006/04/24/ Curry received 53 percent of the vote, with the bulk of the rest going to his cousin Tim. Kunta Kinte advises caution on 'guest worker' program http://www.faux-news.com/stories/2006/04/17/ Kinte was invited by Stanford's school of engineering to speak on the effect of random field fluctations on temporal travel.