Scary characters promised for Nov. 7 Halloween celebration

Senate candidate Katherine Harris
has yet to find a costume

Save your costumes. This year Halloween will officially be observed on Tuesday, Nov. 7.

"I'm the decider," said President George Bush. "And this year, I decided to have Halloween a little later."

Entertainment will be provided by the Republican Party.

"I can promise some very scary characters," said Ken Mehlman, chair of the Republican National Committee. "I've already seen a Cheney that could drop a lawyer at 10 paces."

The White House has been decorated for the season for six years. Visitors can hear eerie voices whisper about disappearances, torture, monsters, a crushing national debt, and a chief executive that can barely manage to tie his own velcro shoelaces.

Undead Republicans will roam the nation's capitol. But then, that happens every day.

Sources say Sen. Joe Lieberman may come dressed as a Democrat.

A special costume will allow Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum to literally leave a trail of frothy slime wherever he goes. But thousands of touchscreen voting machines will leave no trail whatsoever.

Republican Senate candidates Bob Corker and George Allen will be wearing white sheets.

G.O.P. Holloweenies have already received their candy from lobbyists. But they'll still be happy to offer you a choice of "Trick or Trick!"

You can vote for your favorite characters from convenient locations near your neighborhood.